


Remember

by ImOutOfMyVulcanMind (LoopyLu94)



Series: Tarsus IV [1]
Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Attempted Murder, Bullying, F/M, Mass Death, Minor Character Death, Minor Injuries, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-02
Updated: 2017-04-02
Packaged: 2018-10-14 00:16:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,727
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10524930
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LoopyLu94/pseuds/ImOutOfMyVulcanMind
Summary: What happened to Jim on Tarsus IV?





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is my take on the events of Tarsus IV

Jim hated this chunk of floating rock they called a colony. He hated his step-father for sending him here. And he hated that his mother left him behind while she went off to explore space. Just because he’d driven that stupid car off a cliff, didn’t mean he deserved to be sent to a _farming_ planet of all things. Frank deserved it anyway. He was an abusive asshole who cared about that damned car more than he did about Jim.

Jim huffed, kicking a rock as he walked around the ground surrounding the school he was meant to be attending for the foreseeable. It was the end of the day, and he should have been heading back to the house he was staying in. One of Frank’s friends had offered to take him in until his mom returned to Earth, but he seemed almost as bad as Frank himself, so Jim was delaying it for as long as possible.

The sound of harsh laughter reached Jim’s ears, and he turned to see a group of boys, around his age, pushing a girl into a puddle of mud and mocking her relentlessly. The girl, about eleven maybe, for her part, was trying her best to stay stoic as she was called a baby, and attempted to stand only to be pushed down again. Jim got angry. Apart from the age and size difference, the boys outnumbered the girl, three to one.

“Leave her alone!” Jim shouted, seconds before he collided with the lead boy. They both tumbled to the ground. The other was larger than Jim, but Jim knew how to fight better, so quickly gained the advantage. His fist collided with the boy’s face, and there was a satisfying crunch. Blood poured from the other’s nose in streams, and Jim smirked. A part of him expected the other two boys to jump him, but all he heard was a “Let’s get outta here”, before the sound of retreating footsteps.

“Don’t bother her again.” Jim growled threateningly at the lead boy, before moving off him. The boy scrambled to his feet, and Jim watched as he ran after his friends. Then he turned his attention back to the girl, who was still in the puddle of mud, watching everything with wide eyes. “You okay?” He offered his hand to the girl, and helped her upright.

“Yeah, thanks.” The girl mumbled, looking down at her ruined clothes, before looking back up at Jim. He could see her studying him, and it made him smile. No wonder those other boys didn’t like her, she was probably smarter than all three of them put together. “You’re new.”

Jim nodded. “Yeah. Name’s Jim Kirk. My step-father sent me here, while my mom’s off planet.” Jim chose not to go into the details, it was easier.

The girl looked at him for a few more moments, and she was definitely intelligent. Jim knew she could sense a deeper story behind his explanation. She didn’t push it though. “Y/N Y/L/N.”  She looked down at Jim’s knuckles, and saw that they were bleeding. “C’mon, my father has some good stuff for scratches.” With that, Y/N turned and started to walk out of the school ground.

Jim caught up with her easily, and fell into step by her side. “You’re pretty confident for a kid.”

The glare he received made Jim laugh. “Not a kid. Only a couple of years younger than you.” Y/N replied with a huff, and Jim laughed again, though he did concede. They reached Y/N’s house at the edge of one of the large fields, and Jim realized they were only a few houses away from where he was staying.

“My dad isn’t home yet, he’ll still be out working for a while.” Y/N told him as she let them both in.

“What about your mom?” Jim asked, looking around the small, but cosy home. It was a world away from his home on Earth and his home here.

“Dad says mom died when I was a baby. She’s in the stars now.” Y/N said quietly, a twinge of sadness in her voice.

“I’m sorry, Y/N.” Jim replied, sitting in one of the chairs as he was gestured to do so. “My dad died when I was a baby.” Y/N looked at him thoughtfully for a moment, and smiled at him empathetically. She disappeared for a few moments, before reappearing with a bowl, a cloth and a bottle of something. Y/N sat in front of him, and took Jim’s hand. She was careful as she cleaned his hand, but it was hardly the first time Jim had scraped his knuckles in a fight, so he wouldn’t have flinched anyway. “Thanks.” Jim murmured, when Y/N had finished applying the ointment to his knuckles. She hadn’t been wrong when she said it was good.

“It’s okay.” Y/N smiled, and Jim smiled back. Jim stood to leave, but as he did, a man entered the house. Jim immediately tensed, which didn’t escape either Y/N or her father’s attention he noted, but neither said anything. He listened as Y/N introduced him, and explained to her father how he’d helped her. He expected a telling off, a scolding for fighting, but none came. Instead he got invited to stay for dinner. Jim was hesitant at first, but then he smelled the food, so he stayed.

Jim and Y/N became good friends after that day. Jim quickly developed a reputation as someone who shouldn’t be messed with, which also meant that no one bothered Y/N anymore either. Y/N showed him around, and together they’d bend rules, and have fun. Y/N always had a way of making sure they didn’t get into trouble though. Jim started to spend more time at Y/N’s house than he did his. Her father didn’t treat him like some dumb kid, and respected him, and Jim found himself starting to respect him in return. Jim started to think Tarsus IV wasn’t too bad.

Then things went to shit.

Something happened, Jim didn’t know what, but the crops died. Some kind of disease the rumor was. Whatever it was, it meant that all too suddenly, food was low. Everyone started to ration what they already had, and unfortunately for Jim, the guy he was living with wasn’t that bothered on keeping him fed. He would have starved if it hadn’t been for Y/N and her father. They barely had anything, but they shared with Jim, and he was grateful.

Riots started. They were ugly, and people tried to keep out of the way of them. It hadn’t been his intention, but Jim found himself out in the street during a particularly bad fight for food. He tried to keep out of the way, but even then he was shoved, and pushed to the ground. It was just as he rolled out of the way of stomping feet did he spot the basket of food. Someone must have dropped it, but it was unnoticed and full.

Jim moved quickly, he sprang to his feet and ran, snatching up the food before anyone saw. He could go home and eat until he couldn’t move, but he didn’t. Instead, he ran to Y/N’s house, and knocked frantically on the locked door. It was only a matter of time before someone spotted him. “It’s me!” Movement, sound, the door opened a fraction, just enough to leave him in, then it locked behind him again.

Y/N was next to him looking concerned at the dust and blood on his face, and so was her father. “What were you thinking, boy? You would’ve been killed if someone saw you with this!” Y/N’s father scolded, though once the basket was set to one side, he was pulled in for a hug, and a quiet thank you was whispered in his ear.

Jim cleaned up as the food was prepped, and although the meal was small, it was good and satisfying, and tasted like heaven. It didn’t take long afterwards for Y/N to fall to sleep, while Jim and her father stayed awake. They listened to the shouts outside, and talked quietly. He didn’t say anything, but Jim could see he was worried about Y/N. Jim promised that he’d help look after her no matter what.

The next day the door was broken down. Jim, Y/N and her father were dragged away by guards, and forced to join a large crowd of people. They were all herded in the same direction, towards the colony’s center, but there were so many people around him, that Jim was separated from the other two. The crowd was guided into one of the buildings that usually homed the Government, and into a large room. It was plain, and completely bare except for a large, raised screen. More and more people entered, until there must have been thousands Jim figured.

A door slammed shut ominously, and the dread twisted its way into Jim’s stomach. Whatever was going on, wasn’t good. The screen flickered to life, and the face of a man Jim didn’t recognize appeared before them. Jim tried to concentrate throughout the speech the man gave, but all he could focus on was the rising fear inside him, and the need to escape. Jim did pay attention to the last words uttered though.

“The revolution is successful. But survival depends on drastic measures. Your continued existence represents a threat to the well-being of society. Your lives mean slow death to the more valued members of the colony. Therefore, I have no alternative but to sentence you to death. Your execution is so ordered, signed Kodos, Governor of Tarsus IV.”

Jim stood in a stunned silence with the rest of the crowd as the screen went black again. He’d expected something bad, but not this bad. Instinct kicked in seconds before it did for everyone else, and he turned, looking for the door. Jim couldn’t see it from where he was, so he moved. He pushed through the bodies who were slowly coming to life around him.

Panic swelled. People moved faster, trying to get to the exit, desperate to get out. Jim flinched at the first gunshot. Someone fell right in front of him, but Jim kept going. He was pretty sure he was near the door. A little further.

Jim heard the scream, and recognized it instantly. Y/N. He looked around, just in time to see her be pushed to the edge of the crowd by a guard. Jim was moving again before he thought about it. He couldn’t let Y/N die. He emerged from the crowd, instantly spotting Y/N again as she was pushed to another door with some others. No. Jim ran, and collided with the guard with all his force, knocking him to the ground. Jim quickly grabbed the guards gun in one hand, and grabbed Y/N’s hand in the other. “We have to leave now, Y/N!”

Y/N followed Jim as they ran, skirting the edge of the room as much as possible. He knew his grip on her hand was probably too tight, but he didn’t dare loosen it in case she slipped free of him and he lost her again. “There. Stay close, Y/N. We’re almost out.” Jim got them closer. There was a guard, but he could take him out.

Behind him, he felt Y/N trip and stumble, but his grip on her hand kept her upright. Then she screamed again, and Jim stopped to look too. Y/N’s father. Limp. Bloody chest. Lifeless eyes. Dead. Jim felt his stomach churn at the sight, but he forced it down. Now wasn’t the time. “We have to keep moving.” Jim tugged Y/N’s hand again, coaxing her to start running again.

They remained unnoticed as they approached the door, and Jim pulled Y/N down into a crouch with him. He looked the guard over. There was armour covering nearly every inch of his body. Probably impenetrable. His neck. Jim spotted exposed skin. That was his only chance. “As soon as I shoot him, run for the door as quickly as you can, okay?” Jim raised his stolen weapon, and aimed it, hoping he knew what he was doing. He held his breath. Squeezed the trigger.

The guard fell, blood pouring from his neck.

Jim didn’t stop to think, he was up, sparing a quick glance to make sure Y/N was following, and running to the door before it was noticed that the guard was down. He tried to get it open. Working as fast as he could. Shots rang out too close for comfort. With one last shove, Jim flung the door open, and they were sprinting again.

Shots fired past them, but Jim kept them moving randomly, hoping to avoid the bullets. Gradually, the shots quietened, and Jim risked a glance behind him to see that they were no longer being pursued. He didn’t allow either of them to stop or slow though. They ran past the now empty houses, over the dead fields that once grew so much, and into the woods beyond them. His lungs screamed for air, and he was sure Y/N was the same, if not worse, but he didn’t dare stop. Not until they were lost in the trees.

Only once he felt that they were suitably submerged in the forest, did Jim allow them to stop. He fought to catch his breath, bending over as he sucked in deep breaths. “We should be safe here for now.” He panted. Behind him, Jim heard a thump and saw Y/N on the ground, tears pouring down her face, and blood pouring down her arm. Wait. Blood? Jim knelt in front of her, his own aching muscles forgotten, and brushed some hair out of her face gently. “It’s okay, Y/N. It’ll be okay. I’ll look after you.”

Jim watched as Y/N wiped her tears away, and offered her a small smile. It was all he could do. He knew there were no words he could say that would comfort her. “I’m going to take a look at your arm, okay?” At Y/N’s nod, Jim carefully peeled away the material from her arm, and examined the bullet wound. He had no idea what he was looking for really, but he did it anyway. The bullet had gone straight through, and he was pretty sure it hadn’t gone through bone. From what he knew those were both good things. “It doesn’t look too bad. The bullet went straight through. That’s always good.” With nothing else to do, Jim tore a strip of fabric from his shirt, and wrapped it tightly around the injury. It needed treatment, or at least washing, but there was nothing to hand, so all Jim could do was hope.

“Thank you, Jim.” Y/N whispered, looking at him with wide, terrified eyes. Jim didn’t let himself think that she’d probably be already dead if it wasn’t for him.

“I promised your dad I’d look after you if he weren’t around, and I meant it.” As soon as the words were uttered, Jim saw fresh pain in the eyes that were far too young to feel it, and tears slipped down Y/N’s cheek again. He wrapped his arms around the young girl, and held her close as she cried. He had every intention of keeping his promise to her father, even though he had no idea how. He wasn’t sure if he’d be able to keep himself alive out here, let alone help another person survive. But Jim was all Y/N had now, he knew that. And he wasn’t going to leave her.

Slowly, Y/N’s sobs turned to hiccups, and Jim pulled away carefully. “We need to find some shelter for the night. It’s already getting cold.” With night falling, Jim knew they had to find somewhere safer, more out of the way. He helped Y/N to her feet, and kept her close as they moved through the trees. It took a bit of time, but eventually Jim spotted somewhere that would do for the night.

The large fallen tree would provide both shelter and safety, so Jim guided Y/N behind it, and lay her down, before laying behind her. “Gotta stay close, so we’ll stay warm.” He whispered, pressing to Y/N’s back, and placing his arm which still gripped his weapon around her waist. The nights were too cold to sleep separately, and Jim had a feeling that the closeness would help Y/N.

Jim was right. It didn’t take long for Y/N’s breathing to even out, and Jim knew she was sleeping. He couldn’t bring himself to relax though. All he could do was strain to hear the smallest sound, prepared to fight at a moment’s notice.

The long night dragged out, also allowing Jim to finally process everything that had happened. Everything that he’d done. His mind kept going back to the guard. The one he’d shot. The one he’d killed. Tears of his own fell silently as he remembered the blood, the way the body had just dropped. He’d killed a man. It might have been a man who would have killed Jim in a heartbeat, but Jim had still taken a life. Fresh nausea washed over him, but once again Jim swallowed it down.

The sun rose slowly, pale and fresh. With it, Y/N woke too, and Jim felt her tense immediately as the memories of the previous day came flooding back. He stayed quiet, holding her tightly until she’d pulled herself together. He hated that she had to force herself together.

“We need to find a source of water.” Jim said quietly, barely feeling Y/N’s nod of agreement. They stood together, and moved in silence, Y/N following Jim blindly. A part of Jim wished she wouldn’t have so much faith in him, yet she did. It took them a few hours, but at some point they heard the trickle of water. They followed the sound, the water getting louder until they came across the stream.

The two of them drank gratefully, and splashed their faces. Jim tore some more material up, and used it to wash the dried blood off Y/N’s arm, and wash the wound itself. It looked ugly, but at least it had stopped bleeding. Jim wrapped a fresh makeshift bandage around it, and hoped that it wouldn’t get infected.

They stayed close to the stream as they scrounged for some sort of food to eat, eventually coming up with some berries that looked edible. Jim considered hunting, he knew how to set traps to catch a rabbit or two, but he didn’t dare light a fire to cook it with. They walked the length of the stream day after day, searching, desperate to keep their strength up.

It was about three mornings later, and Jim and Y/N were collecting a few more berries when they heard movement. Footsteps. Jim pushed them both behind a boulder, weapon raised. The footsteps grew louder. Jim held his breath. A figure emerged, but it was no guard. The boy who’s nose Jim had broken on his first day stumbled out. Jim and Y/N shared a brief glance, then slowly they emerged from behind their boulder.

The boy startled, turning quickly to look at them. Jim watched as the other recognized them, and relaxed a fraction. The boy, Damon, told them that he’d managed to escape after Jim and Y/N had, and had run into the forest too. It was the only place that was safe. Jim was reluctant to let Damon join them, but they’d be able to scavenge more food with three of them, so they stuck together.

Later that day they found another survivor, and the day after they came across two more. They stopped finding anyone after that. He wasn’t sure if it was because of his weapon, or natural ability, but Jim found himself the unelected leader of their group, despite not being the oldest. He didn’t want the position. Didn’t want more lives on his shoulders, but they all looked to him, and he couldn’t abandon them.

One of the survivors mentioned that they’d seen guards at the edge of the forest, that they were being looked for, so Jim made the decision to move deeper into the dense trees, in an attempt to avoid detection.

Jim lost count of the days, with the endless cycle of looking for food and shelter for the night, it became difficult to keep track. What he did know was that they were fighting a losing battle. With nothing substantial to eat, and a need to keep constantly moving, they all lost weight quickly, and with each new day it became increasingly difficult to find the energy to get up and move.

It was Y/N Jim was most worried about though. Each day she seemed to get thinner to Jim’s eyes. Her eyes had sunk, her cheeks hollowed, her collarbones jutted out painfully, and each rib protruded crystal clear. He knew he probably wasn’t faring any better, but he couldn’t see himself, so he ignored it. He could see Y/N though, so his fear lay with her. Jim began to wonder how much longer she’d be able to last like this. How long it would be before his promise to her father was broken, and he’d fail to look after her.

Arguments began to break out between them. First of all it was over the tasks they had set themselves. Who went in what direction, who went to collect water in their makeshift bowls of hollowed wood. Then it was over food. Some demanded more berries than others. Then the arguments began to grow more serious. Accusations that some weren’t doing as much as others were thrown around. No names were mentioned, but Jim knew who they were talking about.

It came to a head after a long, wet day, where their search for food proved fruitless. It was evening, and they all stood in a circle, bickering like usual. Then Damon stepped forward. “We’d have more to eat if there were less than us! The food we find would go further!”

“And who do you suggest leaves?” Jim retaliated, squaring up to the other boy.

“You know who I’m talking about. Her.” Damon growled, pointing his finger at Y/N. “She’s the youngest. She can’t carry as much as we can, can’t do as much as we can. She’s useless. Deadweight.”

Jim clenched his jaw, not liking the murmurs of approval that rippled through the others, and from the corner of his eye, he saw Y/N shift behind him, looking for protection. “No.” Jim growled right back at Damon.

“What you gonna do to stop me?” Damon shoved Jim backwards roughly, and made a dive for Y/N. Jim reacted instantly, snatching up the gun he’d placed on a nearby log, and aimed it squarely at Damon.

“I’ll kill you.” Jim’s heart hammered in his chest, but his grip was steady, his aim directed at Damon’s chest. “Won’t be the first time. I’ve already killed one of those bastard guards, and I won’t have a problem killing a bully like you, or anyone else who tries to hurt Y/N.” He snarled, glaring at the other members of the group. “We stick together.”

Jim watched as Damon and the others backed away, and wrapped an arm around Y/N. The argument was ended for now, but the tension in the air could’ve been cut with a knife.

Jim slept even less after that, and his grip on his weapon was always tight. He didn’t miss the hushed whispers, or the glances at him and the gun, and he knew that if he let his guard down for a moment, both he and Y/N would likely find themselves dead. Y/N stopped sleeping too. She knew the risk, so their nights were spent huddled together, eyeing up the other four suspiciously.

“It would be easier if I wasn’t part of the group.” Y/N whispered quietly one night. Jim heard the small crack in her voice, but there was nothing else apart from that. She hadn’t wept since their group had begun to grow.

“No. No way, Y/N. I promised your father I’d look after you, and I will. No matter what.” Jim sensed that Y/N was preparing to argue, so he cut her off. “We’re getting out of this together, or we won’t get out at all. End of story.”

It came to a point where no one had seen or heard from the guards hunting them for a few days, and with the tension ever mounting, Jim decided to go hunting and risk a fire. The announcement immediately eased the tension, enough that Jim was okay with leaving Y/N with the others while he went hunting. They wouldn’t hurt her with the thought of food imminent.

It took a few hours, and a considerable amount of patience, but Jim finally managed to catch three rabbits. They were scrawny things, barely any meat on them, but it was still more than they’d had in ages. Jim returned to the camp to see that firewood had been gathered, and someone was in the process of lighting the fire. He prepped the rabbits quickly, and another began to cook them, while he went to sit next to Y/N again. It didn’t take long for the meat to start to brown, the smell of it made everyone’s mouth water, and everyone was relatively relaxed for once.

No one had a chance to try any of the meat. Gun shots rang out clearly and loudly, sending the six of them scrambling. Jim saw someone fall as soon as they rose, and he began to sprint out of the small clearing they’d set their fire in. He turned, seeing Y/N run towards him. “Y/N! Come on!” Confident that the other was right behind him, Jim turned back and began to run through the trees, trying to get them lost and away from the guards.

There were others running with him, following him as he led them continuously deeper. When the sound of all pursuit ended, Jim came to a stop. Harsh breathing surrounded him, drowning out the sound of his own. Managing to straighten up, Jim looked around to see who was left. His stomach dropped. There were only two others. Damon and another. “Y/N?” Jim called as loudly as he dared, scanning the trees for movement, his heart thundering in his chest again. “Y/N!”

He was moving before he knew it, starting to retrace his steps through the woods. He had to find you. You were out there somewhere he knew it. A hand was on his arm, and Jim snapped around to see Damon. “She’s gone, Jim. I saw her. She fell, and a guard got her before she could get up again.”

“That doesn’t mean she’s dead! She could be out there!” Jim tried to tug away, but the grip on his arm tightened.

“No. I saw the gun go off. Saw the blood. She’s dead, Jim.”

The world spun as Jim’s mind tried to catch up with what he’d been told. Dead. Y/N…dead. He’d failed. He was meant to look after her, and he’d failed. It all became far too much, he couldn’t cope. He didn’t feel it as his fist collided with the nearest tree. Didn’t feel the pain, or the blood trickling down his knuckles as he just kept punching. Didn’t hear himself yell in anger, pain, guilt. He felt hands on him, trying to get him to stop, but he pushed them off. His world narrowed, focusing solely on the tree in front of him as he hit it over and over, the feelings he’d been pushing down finally surfacing. “Y/N!”

 

“Y/N!” Jim cried as he bolted upright in the bed, covered in sweat, heart pounding behind his ribs, and tears streaming down his face.


End file.
